Monday, July 06, 2009

Suburb

We were driving around this sad little neighborhood. Dusty, dismal and depressing. Broken chainlink fences. Dirt filled planters. Plywood ominously posted over windows. We were looking for Garage Sales, and we were all slightly car sick. When we passed a paper sign taped to a tree, we decided it was time to leave. As we raced up the side streets, we passed what seemed to be a roundabout. It was laden with scraggly little plants, and was about two feet across. Sean looked at it for a second and then said in a cockney accent.
"Well, it's like a little piece of England, innit?"

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Working

The ice was not sticking. It was a frustrating powder that clung to my arms, and melted in the hot afternoon sun, but did not hold the syrup. I watched as the delicate shaved ice collapsed in on itself. The dismayed look of the customer. The ever growing line. I darted to the side of the cart, where I filled a plastic cup with hot water.


"Sometimes, when the ice is really cold, it does does that" I said, dumping the water into the ice machine, listening to it trickle through, sloshing like a full belly.


The ice stuck better. Well enough to be sold. But not right yet. Still difficult. The man left the money on the counter and I snatched it up before it became soggy on the wet counter-top. I worked through customers, one by one, panicking a little, as the line got longer and longer, despite my frantic efforts. My sister came to help me, fetching the hot water and shaping sno-cones. I heard water dripping near my feet. Leaks. I'd forgotten. The line slowly, painfully diminished. I dismissed my sister, who went running through the park, wood chips splashing up where she stepped.


I ducked under the counter top, checking on the pipes underneath, examining the leaks and my makeshift plugs, which were made of paper towels and latex gloves. Small puddles were forming, but they could wait for the moment. They weren't harming anything after all.

I straightened up and then fell on the chair, people-watching briefly. Two men, in short succession, holding out butcher-paper wrapped bouquets, each wearing laughably determined expressions. A woman with a three-week old baby, its face hidden under pink fabric. A child wailing as their balloon floated up towards the clouds.

A customer walked up, toting a flat of raspberries. I grabbed a cup and started shaving ice into it.
" Where did you get your berries?" I asked. The woman gestured towards the back of the park, naming a vendor that I vaguely remembered.
"I love raspberries. I'd forgotten they were in season"
"I do too" I asked what flavors the woman wanted and lifted them off the circular trolley, splattering them onto the blankness of the ice. As I looked up, to give her the total, she slid a napkin with nine raspberries on it, towards me. I thanked her, not quite knowing what to say. She didn't say anything, just smiled and went on her way, bent slightly to one hip as she balanced the box precariously.


I had a small rush of business after that. I watched a man, who looked rough, with his wifebeater shirt and tattoos, affix a flower in his tiny daughter's hair, and kiss the top of her head. I watched a magenta clad granddaughter convince her grandmother that a treat was in order. A boyfriend buy a blue and purple ice to share with his girlfriend. I watched as the market began to close and people walked more slowly. I listened as the clock chimed at quarter two. My ice was all gone, my plugs were rendered useless and I was sweaty and tired and sun burnt.

I picked up a raspberry and smiled.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

That Dance Thing

Last night was my ninth grade dance. It totally exceeded my expectations, which were low, to say the least.

I was expecting bad music and even worse dancing. I envisioned sweaty freshmen trying to mingle. Deflating balloons. Gratuitous snogging. I thought my dress (Oh My God. My dress. I love it. So very much.) was going to untie or someone would trip on it and I'd be that girl who flashed everyone on prom night.

But it was none of that. Well, okay. I did have to cinch up my dress a couple times. And there was some noticeably bad dancing. But the music was really good. Not in my taste really. But the slow songs weren't too slow and the fast songs were truly good dancing songs.

I was so proud of my friends. They all looked so wonderful. And sophisticated. They opted for simple dresses (Or vests in Tyler's case) and they looked utterly beautiful. It was intimidating actually. To be seen with them.

Emma and Demi and I had a really lovely time beforehand too. We stayed at my house, instead of going out to eat. Mum and I (Well, mostly Mum) decorated her art room to look like an old fashioned dressing room. We had candles, and a screen and a mirror and mosquito netting over the couch. Mum put together little overnight kits for each of us, with tiny soap and deodorant and hair ties and travel toothbrushes.

While they were here, Emma did Demi's hair, and we listened to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and ate really, really good chocolate. Mum made pasta for dinner and it was delicious. It was very relaxed. We didn't really have any deadlines to meet. We took pictures out in my yard, and the weather was just perfect. We all had a lot of fun. It was my favorite part of the night.

After the dance, we all rode up to Tyler's house and stayed the night there. Tyler's mum is so adorable. Seriously. She was so excited for us. Some of the group tried to stay up all night, as is the tradition, but only one of us survived. I'm proud to say that I conked out at about one.
Because I am a wuss when it comes to sleep.

It was a really fun time. And it was even better because I didn't expect it to be. I hope all dances in high school are like this. I wonder...

Monday, June 08, 2009

The End of Much

Saturday was my last performance of Night of Musical Theatre 2.0 at my school. We had a really great closing night, but as always, our success was tinged with melancholy. I'm going to miss NoMT. There's a class a SoTA (School of the Arts) that's all about musical theatre, but I don't really think I'll be able to take it, what with all the music and writing classes I'll hopefully be taking. It makes me sad to leave that aspect of my life behind. It's been really great. And unfortunately, I was just getting the hang of the dancing.
There's only two more weeks to go until I am out of school. I honestly cannot wait. I know there are a lot of people who are sad to be leaving Junior High. I'm not really one of those people. Not that I haven't enjoyed Junior High, I just prefer summer. I miss having the time to read books and make things. I miss having enough time in the day to play a little bit of World of Warcraft (especially because my new server is full of really benevolent people. I was getting tired of being told I was going to die alone.). And then there's also the possibility that next year will be an improvement on this year. I'm so excited. And even if SoTA isn't all I expect of it, at least it will be new.

I'm getting a little frightened. The ninth grade dance is only a week away and I still haven't gotten my dress or made plans with my friends. I don't know what parties are going on. I don't know when I'm getting my hair done (Achgh, I know. I'm one those girls. But not really. I needed to get my hair cut and thinned anyway. It was just a coincidence. I promise!) or when I'm eating dinner. I'm all over the place because Show Week and my Romeo and Juliet Project are coinciding and that is super stressful.

Hopefully, I'll finish up my diorama tonight and have enough time to take some pictures so that I can post 'em on here. My project is getting to the point where I'm actually excited about the way it looks. And I like my Romeo and Juliet dolls that I made. I'm really proud of them. Ridiculously so. This project, though stressful, has been one of my favorite assignments this year.

My cello recital is coming up. After that, I stop lessons with Nicole for the summer. That scares me a little. I have Youth Symphony auditions in August, and I'm worried that I'll forget how to play my piece by some mental disaster. What's cool though is that I'll be starting my Faure piece. I'll be working on it by myself, which will be a new thing for me. I'm actually quite excited about that.

I really need to get to a thrift store. I have no clothing for the summer (Okay, weird sentence. Didn't mean to do that). When I do find a dress that's cool enough, it makes me look like a go-go dancer. Not exactly the look I'm going for. Maybe when school gets out Mum will take us to the Value Village in the city. That would be really nice.

I realize that this is sort of a random post. But, I've been gone so long that I thought it would just write an all around update. My next post will hopefully be more cohesive.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Golden Age

Yesterday, I was at school early. Everyone was tired and unwilling to sing, but there none-the-less. There was camaraderie in that. We were united in our weariness. We were about half way through our rehearsal when a tall, pretty, athletic girl came in the room. My stomach clenched a little bit when I recognized her voice. We've never been on very good terms. But I'm not going to go into that. It is ugly and messy and silly.
My initial reaction to her was anger. And annoyance. But as the rehearsal wrapped up, it was replaced by a sort of pity. She looked so small, hanging out in the room where she had once been queen bee. She had come back, probably expecting warm welcome. Which she got. But there was no fussing. She said things, while she watched us practice, but they were lost in our fluttering conversation. Things at my school had clearly moved on from last year. She was reduced to a memory. And memories don't have nearly as much power as the present.

She is probably enjoying her high school. In fact, she is probably having the time of her life. This is her golden age. I think that her high school years are going to be the best of her life. But when she graduates, everything will dim in comparison. At least, I think that's what I saw in the rehearsal room.

This is not my time.

I should say, I hope it isn't. My time is in the future somewhere, I think. In that time I will hit my stride, and be confident in everything. I'm confident now, God knows. But it's a shaky confidence. I still get that look, when I've been too loud, or too excited, or too- out there. In those moments after the look, which are filled with regret and slight panic, I am paying my dues. It is those moments that make it clear to me, that this is not my time.


But it will come. As most are leaving their glory days behind, I will be beginning mine. Where they fade, I will finally flourish. I'm glad I have something to look forward to.


And I'm excited.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Frustrating

I'd just like to start out by saying that I really, really enjoy Shakespeare. We're reading Romeo and Juliet in English right now. I feel like I'm accomplishing something when I know what the characters are talking about, without having to read the footnotes. There is something deeply beautiful about the language. I think my favorite character is either Mercutio or Juliet. I kind of dislike Romeo, though. He's got the nice, yet dishonest boy thing going on, and I as I've said before (Sorry) that does not gel with me very well. Juliet, who I really like, deserves better, in my opinion. I love reading about her. I like that my English class isn't entirely against Shakespeare either. Most of them seem to like it. I'm excited to keep reading. The project that accompanies the Romeo and Juliet unit, however, might lead to some late nights and dashed hopes.

I always do this. Always. And it's really disappointing. I'm sure you've felt it before too.

I started on my project today. One of the things I am doing for the project is designing the costumes for Juliet in the play. One of the requirements is that I make a doll-sized version of one of my designs. So I got out my sewing kit (Still in the basement with the moving boxes) and started to brainstorm. I eventually decided that I wanted to do Juliet's Party Dress (The dress she is wearing when she first sees Romeo). I had some red linen and some iridescent Burgundy shot silk and some gold organza-looking stuff. The colors were good with each other. They were appropriate for the period I think. I held the fabrics and got excited.
I laid out my needle and pins and ironed my fabric and got to work. I stitched and stitched. My back started to ache from leaning down so long. North finished Bioshock (Best video game in the world, by the way.) while I worked. In the back of my head there was this nagging doubt;
"That thread is going to make everything look sloppy"
"Those sleeves are too big. They look clumsy"
"You're going to run out of fabric"
But I kept on going, thinking that if I just persevered, everything would just fall into place. But of course, it didn't work out that way.
The dress did fit the doll, but it was baggy and it just did not look like something that had been slaved over for hours. The colors were nice, but the exposed thread just ruined the effect. It was really frustrating. And my back hurts. I always do this. But do you know what I'm going to do tomorrow?

I'm going to make another one.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Wait. May?

This year has gone by faster than both seventh and eighth grade. It's a good thing. I'm not exactly thrilled with Junior High. I need a change of scene. This last semester has gone by especially fast. It's feel like it was only a few days ago that I was waiting to audition for the School of the Arts. Minutes ago that I got new music in the symphony.


The end of the year is going to be really enjoyable. My concert for youth symphony is this Saturday. I am so excited. The theme this year in Russian music. Most of our piece are very exciting and fantastic. But there is one song, Elegie by Faure, which is completely different from the others. I love it so very, very much.




(Sorry about the quality; It was nearly impossible to find a recording of this with Orchestral Accompaniment. At least with a buggy computer it was)


I also have the Ninth Grade Dance coming up. To be honest, I'm only really excited about the peripherals of the night. The dance itself holds no real excitement for me. I'm more concerned about wearing a pretty dress, going to a fun after party, and attending the awards assembly the next day. I think most of the ninth grade class at my school is of the same mind frame.


Market is starting up this weekend. The market is such a nice place to be in the summer. It's friendly and busy and interesting. The people we work with are all really decent people. We're a fairly tight-knit group of vendors, I think. Similar interests and priorities. The customers are cool too. Just happy to be out in the sun, window shopping.


I wish we had more of a garden in the new house. We've had so much clean-up to do in the yard, that we haven't really had time to plant any flowers. I miss the cherry tree that was in our old backyard. For a few weeks in the spring, it made everything delicate and articulated. And the lilac trees, with their dense blooms and heady scent. Peonies. Tulips. Snap Dragons. Heliotrope. Hydrangea. I miss them. Next year though. We'll have a wonderful garden next year.