Earth Treasures

It's been awhile, hasn't it? In my defense, I've been super busy. I had Concert Preparation Assessments at Youth Symphony this last weekend (ie. personal hell), which pretty much forced me to become a recluse for the week. In retrospect I probably seemed a little funny. Holed up in my room, nastily shooing anyone who interrupted me. I apologize. I get a little worked up. And I had two important essays due and a book to read and a prelude to write. And Halloween. Oh God Halloween.

Just scary stuff. But it's over now.



I went to see Sufjan Stevens on the thirtieth. I cannot impress upon you how much I loved it. It was so perfect. He was playing a lot from his new album the Age of Adz (Which is the only thing I have listened to for the last week. Nothing else.) I've gotten to the point where I can't even distinguish my own feelings from that of the music. He inspires that level of empathy. There are songs that still continually bring me to tears. Seriously. It is just so beautiful.

The songs are about heartbreak, at least to me. And I think he's been hurt really badly. I hope he gets better.

I'm writing a piece in Music Theory that I actually enjoy, that actually makes me happy.I haven't really had that happen. It's a prelude as I mentioned before, which is basically a big long chord progression with the same rhythmic patterns over and over again. I added some seventh chords and quite a few diminished chords in there as well. Should make things interesting. I have to turn it in on Tuesday.

It's getting really cold. And the leaves are really starting to turn, delighting me. Although I love Halloween, I'm excited to get to the more relaxed holidays. I'm already starting to find items from Christmas. Abbie is particularly easy to buy for.

I really wish I could take songwriting two next semester. I can't, my schedule is just too full. But it would be nice. I like songwriting. But I'm not very good at either piano or guitar so that makes things difficult. It's weird to play a bunch of chords on the cello. Maybe that could be my winter project? Learning to play piano or guitar a little?

In the Slate

It is cold, on the sand, and windy. The moons hangs like a incandescent fruit in the sky. They run, full pelt, out towards the waves, which are somehow not as threatening in the night. She sinks into the sands, watching them, running, laughing and loving each each other assuredly. They reach out and it is there, grasping, and constant. She rubs the rim of the coffee mug and smiles as they call out her name. She shakes her head, even though they won't see her in this all slate world. Not right now. They shrug and run farther, faster until in the distance she can't tell which of them is which. But she can still their laughing.

And they are so happy. Lucky to wake up in the morning, clinging to the images of their subconcious and letting willingly go, because in realityit is so much better and they are yours, yours, yours.

To belong to someone, she thinks. And maybe it's because she doesn't but she thinks that it is the most beautiful thing to be in the world.

She lies back in the sand and strains to hear the laughter, which has moved away farther still. And for now, she thinks, maybe listening is enough.

Afraid of the Dark

I am trying so hard not to do my Music Theory homework right now. My entire body is rebelling against the thought of it. And so it is that a new blog post is born.

I just finished reading a book called "a Crooked Kind of of Perfect" by Linda Urban. It's a children's book, meant for fifth graders, but I loved it. It was very poetic and the characters were all very human. It was just so good. You should read it. I've also been listening to two wonderful songs: Your Ex-lover is Dead by Stars (which was recommended to me eons ago by my friend Sean, and which just recently got around to listening to) and Wait It Out by Imogen Heap. The former uses strings prominently and well, which I always appreciate, and the lyrics are terrific. The latter is a song on Ellipse which I got in the early summer, if you recall. I just kind of glazed over it because I'm not overly fond of the beginning, and am just now discovering it. It's lovely once it gets going.

I'm trying really hard not to procrastinate, and to be efficient. I think it's working, though this blog post is no indication of it. It's hard work and a lot of late nights but it makes me much calmer and happier in the long run. And it allows me to enjoy my truly free time much more. But this week has been difficult. I had a school obligation on Thursday and then I had a dance on Friday (Which was fun; lot's of great music) and then, on Saturday there was symphony and a gig and I ended up wandering the aisles of Uwajimaya Village in Seattle, buying tea and almonds with my family. I couldn't really edge in time for work. I will pay for it at nine tonight when I'm still doing counterpoint.

Last weekend, my Mum ran a half marathon. She did really well and I'm very proud of her. She is like solid muscle, I tell you. The anti-me. The run was in Bellingham, and afterward we went into Fairhaven and had lunch and hung out around there. A lot of my parent's courtship took place there and I think they enjoyed seeing it again. They got engaged nearby as well. We bought the October edition of Martha Stewart Living and I read it cover to cover soon after. It's a good'un. Made me want to go back and read some old October issues.

Hey remember when I had a kitten? Yeah. I still do. Except, now, it's a girl and it's name is Ellie. I'm not really sure what I think about this. The whole I-am-the-owner-of-a-rodent-slaying- warrior-cat thing. But she purrs when I pick her up. And sits on my shoes in the morning. And plays with the camera lasso when I'm trying to take halfway decent photo of her. I'm not saying I'm a cat person or anything. She's just kind of nice to have around. Sort of.

Just so you know,

I told you so. I told you these next posts would be few.
But I have a few quick things to say and photos.

First of all, these guys have been invading the house lately. I don't they're very smart, though, to me, they're name suggests that they are: Crane Fly. I think they get in the bathroom and the the shower steams up the room and they get discombobulated, because they hop around sluggishly and barely register your presence. I saw a drowned one the other day and it made me sad.


I love my school supplies. My journals are all moleskine. And my pencil box is an old tea tin. Which is appropriate because 90 percent of the liquid in my body is tea. Coconut Chai. Gingerbread. Pumpkin Spice. Fall teas that I can't get enough of. Speaking of which, I am embracing Autumn fully. I have waited so long to bring out my long dresses and sweaters and the time is finally here. And it's nice to feel rain on my head.

I just finished the Hunger Games Trilogy and I haven't been able to get it out my head. I just keep on reading the epilogue, making sure everyone who lived through the three book is still okay. It's a brutal group of books. I think it really demonstrates the monstrosity of war. No one is sacred. People die violently and unnoticed. I didn't even really like the third book, Mockingjay, but I spent all of Saturday holed up reading it because I just needed to know what happened. I didn't want to have to wait for the ax to fall.
And boy, did it.

School has been good so far. Maybe not everything I expected of it. But good. I'm working very hard to stay efficient and to do my homework on the night it is given rather than a day later when I absolutely have to do it. I'm pretty tired. But it mostly worth it.
Speaking of which, I'd better go iron my clothing for tomorrow. Talk to you guys later.

Beginning

I just want to warn you people. The posts aren't going to last. Their days are numbered. School is here, and with it, numerous obligations. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Working on some old and new pieces right now with cello. Sonata in A major by Franck is what I learned a few years ago. It's a beautiful piece, my favorite movement being the fourth. Very emotional. I like Jaqueline Du Pre's recording if you get it into your head to pick it up. The Lalo Cello Concerto in D minor is what I'm currently concentrating on and I'm learning the first movement of that right now. It's more dramatic than anything I have ever played before. Seriously, I didn't think a cello could make that much sound. Certainly not mine.
Going back to school is simultaneously exciting and wearying. I love to see people that I know, interesting funny focused people. But I've been a recluse for much of the summer and it makes it a little difficult to hold coherent conversations with people I haven't seen in a while. I'll get into the swing of things soon though. At least I'm hoping that's the case. As for the school work, I'm a little daunted. I'm starting to remember the nights of sprawling music theory homework. Of projects being finished at 3:00 in the morning. But it's all part of the process I suppose.

I watched the Princess and the Frog with my sister this morning. Have you seen it lately? It's adorable, one of the best Disney movies I've ever seen. By far my favorite Disney prince. I think the draw is the philandering, insulting bastard bit. But I'm just musing.

I also read this short story. Again. It's called All of Summer in a Day by Ray Bradbury. It is a remarkably well written and beautiful piece. It spans only a few hours, and yet encompasses so much. Please read it.

I'm looking forward to the changing of the season. The sun makes me want to shrivel up. But the rain makes me feel alive. And I'm looking forward to Halloween. I have a plethora of ideas for costumes. I think I may have decided well enough to actually start working on it.

Melancholy

For some reason, I've been feeling a little sad lately. I don't know what came over me. It's not the end of the summer. I'm looking forward to school. I hope it goes away though. I'm tired of being weepy. Maybe I'm just tired. I don't know.

I've been reading more lately. The first from the top was lent to me by a friend. It's a fascinating account of the Bach Cello Suites, when they were written the mysterious composer, how they were brought out of obscurity by the famous cellist Pablo Casals, and finally how the author himself found the suites and decided to write a book about them. I loved it.

The second is about the Siege of Sarajevo. I hadn't actually heard about it before reading this, which is shameful, I know. I just shy away from news and from history sometimes because, it kind of makes me feel ugly to be a human. We do such terrible things to each other sometimes. Anyway, the book is about hope and humanity and living in a war zone. It was beautifully written. Beautiful. I found it kind of reminiscent of the Book Thief by Markus Zusak and if you haven't read that one, well, you should.

I just bought The Wind-up Girl. I'm very excited about it. It describes a future in which calories represent currency and people are grown and used as slaves. The reviews are all stunning.

I've been buying some tea from this woman, the Harbor Herbalist. She's the most lovely lady, very well educated on the medicinal uses of herbs. She tells me which teas to buy and I go home and try them and she's right and then I go buy more. It's a wonderful system. My favorite of the three is strength, a kind of tonic tea. I drink it all the time and it's been one of my first ventures into loose leaf. I love tea culture. The history and the weird little shops full of bags and tins.

I got a henna tattoo at the market as well. It's was darker now, but it's an umbrella, can you see? I love it. The woman who did it was so talented, said she's been henna-ing people for fifteen years. She's very good at what she does. I like the way it kind of looks like a birdcage at the top.

Well, that's it for now. I think I'm going to go work on my school supplies. Bye.

I think this will sum things up.

This week, I:

• Completed my Youth Symphony auditions. And wore blisters into the back of my feet as I paced outside the judgement room. But I had the power of chamomile tea and anger and months of the hardest practice in my fingers, and guess what? For the first time ever, I wasn't nervous.
• Took a rather unplanned trip into Oregon, hanging out in Portland, wherein, I bought a pretty kick ass purse and some school supplies. Twas super fun.
• Ate half a container of Au Natural Jiff with a spoon. By myself. And it was glorious. How my mother can possibly have kept this beautiful spread from me, for all these years, eludes my logic.
• Played D and D with my family and played a character that wasn't a lithe elf, human or half elf. But a mighty and adorable dwarf. Her name is Aisling. Please don't ask me how I pronounce that. At this point, I truly don't know.
• Ate only eggs and cheese for about three days. Also Jiff.

And so much more. Not a bad bit to end summer with, though I still have a week left. And half a container of Jiff. And some kittens. Hmm. Yummy.

A Poem, for which I apologize in advance

In the sun spattered,

and soaked day,

restless and petulant,

I wait.

Make efforts to keep,

the images in my head,

(those of walking,

head down)

from speaking to me.

Don't make a mind,

for him,

that isn't his.

Don't slather your skin,

in hyperboles and

inauthenticities.

These would be

well worn missteps,

and I know better.

armed with the idea

that this may only be

futile,

I face a clear day,

as though the sun,

is finally

finally,

coming up.

Vanilla Mint

More trending going on with my life. I'm unknowingly pairing with peppermint and vanilla all the time. I just found a packet of cocoa in the cupboard: White Chocolate Vanilla and Peppermint.

I think I might have been swindled into buying all three of these. I went to the cash register at Bath & Body Works with just the lemon and left the store with the other two and a rather heavy booklet of coupons. Also, I think I may have given them my phone number and email address.
Anyway. They're great. The lemon one tastes like Lemon Pound Cake but without the guilt.
Gosh. I should be in advertising.


I've started making my school supplies. Two of the binders I will be using this year are finished and I'm very happy with them. One of them is finished , but it's purposeful and determined ugliness irks me to no end. I might just start completely over. But last night, while watching Arrested Development, I made this little pouch to hold the nick knacks that fall inexplicably to the bottom of my bag.

I don't know if you can see in the picture, but those are adorable green polka dots on that fabric. I got it from Wal Mart. And I'm ashamed, because there's a great fabric store across the street that probably would have been worth the effort. But Wal Mart held up astoundingly well selection wise.

I'm off to Centralia for a couple of days to spend some time with some very old friends. It is going to be a blast. I can't wait to see them and spend some time on the farm where they live. It's beautiful there. Maybe I'll take some pictures and show them to you when I get back.

This is where things get a little weird

So much has gone on in the last little bit. It's been a tad bit insane.


First of all, Sean, Tyler, Demi and I took this wild trip in Bandon, Oregon. Tyler has some family there. It was a small, convoluted and simply wonderful little town. It was on the coast too, so we got to spend some time on the beach (Although I still won't touch a bathing suit with a ten foot pole)
I really tried to keep the number of photos down to a minimum. But it was bloody difficult. There were just so many cool ones.




I kind of picture a barber shop trio going on here. Tyler on bass. Sean a tenor. Demi as our blossoming soprano. Sorry. That analyzing went past the point of being sane. I apologize.

We ate at the restaurant owned by Tyler's grandfather. The food was absolutely amazing. Seriously. It took all my non-carb eating strength not to eat gads and gads of food. All of it.

The suite we were staying in was utterly gorgeous. Seriously. I could fill an entire blog post with the pictures I took of the suite alone. There were clouds painted on the walls of this room. Clouds! Lovely, fluffy, billowy goodness goin' on right there.

And then, almost immediately after that leisurely trip down into Oregon, I was off to music camp with my brother. Thankfully I had no camera, so you will be spared any pictures.

As usual, camp was a lot of work. My fingers and upper arms are still sore, and I keep on waking up with nightmares about CPA's (Concert Preparation Assessments). But at the end of the week, I felt accomplished. And I got to hang out with some of the coolest, most genuine people I know. For a whole week. It was awesome. And bonus! I fell in love with the Elgar Cello Concerto.

It's weird. I'm going to be going back to school in a matter of weeks. But I'm okay with that. I'm perfectly fine with it. I've had a fulfilled summer.

A Post of Celebration

I'm deleting my illegitimate facebook today. The one someone else created for me. I've been using it to stalk one person. But today that all ends.
Really, it just got to the point where it wasn't worth it anymore. My mark did not appear to have a whole lot going on (online anyway).
I, however, do. I painted four doll house chairs a couple days ago. They turned out nicely, I think. I'm not much of a painter though, which is funny, because both my parents are talented in that field.

I'm writing this post with Arlo in my shirt pocket. His eyes are wide open. They have been for a about three days. He was being kind of bratty a few seconds ago when Kelly passed by, because she gets all protective. But now that she's gone, he's calming down. Little dork.

Y'know what I always forget that I love? Magazines. I love how you forget that you were anticipating them until the arrive in the mail. I love the length of articles, how they're never long enough to make you bored, but just long enough to get you hooked. I'm particular to Martha Stewart Living, but hell, I love Game Informer too. If anyone has any recommendations of magazines, I'm thinking of buying a subscription or two.

It's about halfway through the summer at this point. I'm starting to get to the point where I feel like it would be okay to go back. At Junior High, that usually didn't occur to me until about the third week of school. It's a really nice feeling to enjoy school. I'm taking great classes too. It's going to be a great year I think.

Yesterday was my busiest day of the week. I work two markets and both of them are very busy. Between shifts though, I hung out downtown on my own. It was actually really nice. I bought coffee and poked around some of the shops (I ended up buying a white ruffled shirt, though not before I tried on the most unflattering dress I have ever beheld) and then ended up at the library, where I met a couple of people that I knew. I had a great conversation with Kenzie Jo, who will be at SotA next year, and then had a lovely night working with my family and Demi Dawn.

I bought my Mum some gorgeous flowers too. I actually was eyeing a more purply pink bunch beforehand, but then someone snatched them up and ran away cackling and stirring a cauldron. (I do not know how she managed this) I actually felt better though, I had been debating between pink and white (both had the purple covered) and so the lady made the choice for me. I think ended up with the better bunch though. Look at the elegance!

I'm just going to continue to pictures of stuff I'm doing

When I slow down, I get restless. Between work and other obligations, my summer is slowly being eaten up. But it's okay. It's a full, fun summer and I'm learning a lot about myself, strangely.
For instance, I've found that I have a more willpower than I expected. At least, that's what the cheesecake sitting in my fridge has been telling me.
Anyway, restlessness. So I find myself spending my precious free time being really productive, at least creatively. It's nice. I'm making things that I have been meaning to work on for months.

For example:

This is the case I made for my parasol. I don't know why I did it. I guess I just love the idea of a long thin case stuck under my arm. And it's lacy and pretty, what's not to like? Now the sun has permission to come out, so I can use this thing.

I've been trying to be a good little socialite lately. It's not working out very well. I forget to email people back. Or arrange things properly. And when people call me, I have to explain each little busy moment. I think sometimes they don't believe me. Which is understandable, when they then log on and see a bunch of photos of hats I've been making, I guess.

Working on a short story right now. I have one scene left to write, and is by far the most pivotal and delicate. I have to be very careful. I won't post it here. It's about fourteen pages long right now and I don't want to bore anyone. I still have to do a lot of editing as well. There are still some snags. The female protagonist is named Sydney Jones. I love her and her name. But y'know, you're supposed. And the main protagonist is Adrian Cleary. By far the main character. But I'm not all that into the name. Sounds like a pretty boy. It does sound like someone I know. Actor maybe.

Oh. Maybe that's why. Huh

Anyway, I'm just struck by how much I suit a writerly lifestyle. I love getting up in the morning and writing for a few hours, refilling my coffee cup as needed. I enjoy being self motivated. Setting goals for myself. "I'll write 1,000 words and then I'll take a break". I know that being a writer isn't a likely occupation for me; it's so determined by luck and aggressiveness, but sometimes, I really wish it was more possible.

The kittens have opened their eyes. I suppose now they'll start being a little more active. They're lazy for now. There's this one, that whenever I try to pick it up, it start yowling and screeching. Thus, I've started calling it the "Screamer", though usually with a prefix of swearing.

There is a little tabby one, though, that I quite like. I mean it's quiet. And it's still a cat, so don't get any ideas. But, y'know, it's pretty nice. Sort of.

Post of Obligation

A post in honor of my dear Demi.

But also because I want to post, of course.

I noticed a couple days ago, that I am very partial to this avocado green and white combo, as evidenced by the items about. No doubt, when I am older, this will be all over my house. That and milk glass.

I love me some milk glass.

I started work on this hat, last week. It originally had an ugly navy ribbon plastered onto it with a hot glue gun. As you can see, I've remedied that problem with a nice length of robin brown ribbon. Martha would approve I think. But the hat was missing a much needed pizazz.

Enter felted flowers. They're elegant. They're quirky. The coaster has nothing to do with them except that it provides a nice backdrop. I didn't actually felt them myself. But I love them just the same. So I put them on my hat.

The model, who has recently been going by the title La Pip didn't feel like taking a whole face shot, saying something about the integrity of the hat. I think she's full of shit, frankly. I think she's just being overly modest.

In other news, our cat, promiscuous at best, has recently given birth to a litter of five kittens. They're cute, I guess, for cats. I don't know what we'll end up doing with them. Abbie is very much in favor of keeping them, though I don't know what she'll think when they organize into a rodent killing army.

We'll see I guess.

a metaphor for something, I think

She pulls herself up. There is that vague moment, during which she is not certain whether the meager strength of her arms will suspend her long enough to throw her weight onto the horizontal ledge. She propels herself forward and lands in a heap in the sand, which in its collected and gathered grains, exudes a welcome warmth. The wind sweeps it across the vast planes of rock that she now faces. She squints and tries to make out the sun, which is shrouded in cloud and dust.
She is tired. So tired, that she contemplates taking a small nap, curling up on her side on the stone, with the wind prodding at her back. Her body aches from the climb and her mind just wants to turn off for a while, having been dominated by thoughts of the ascent for what has stretched like forever.
Now that she is here, though, she is not quite sure what to do. She could pick a direction, and hope not to stumble over the accident. She could look for a safe place to sleep or camp. She could look for a water. She looks down at the sand, which is spread lightly over the rock at her feet. She nudges a divot into it with the toe of her shoe. She could stand here and write her name if she wanted.
She turns her head up again, to face the wind. Time spent too long trying to make decisions. She would walk, without much caring about course or motive. Maybe she would find something she needed. Maybe she wouldn't. It mattered only that she walked, not what course she chose or her motive for doing so.
Hours pass or maybe minutes. Maybe she can't tell anymore, or doesn't want to. But eventually she sees the man. He is standing, not walking, just standing. Waiting perhaps. She walks toward him and joins him in his vigil. They don't talk. They don't say poignant things. They don't fall in love. Or realize sudden truths about one another. They merely stand, in each other's presence.
And they wait.

Pressing

I decided to do some flower pressing about two days ago. We don't really have a garden. More a collection of little sproutings in terracotta pots. But we have two roses, and a hellebore (that's the one at the top left) and that's good enough for me.

I used this press, which I made last summer. Sean helped me, because I'm frightened of power tools, but it came out quite nicely. It's a nice size at about 4 by 6 inches. It's all fancy and varnished too.

Okay. I'm a little proud.

I think these are going to turn out nicely. They're really lovely to use when I'm designing the front of my binders in the fall, for school, or on cards. They're very old fashioned feeling.

I picked up two new albums on Saturday (which was insane, by the way, three events going on simultaneously, and a cello rehearsal to get to. Glad that is over.). One of them is the new Imogen Heap album, Ellipse. I wasn't really understanding why I wasn't all over this before. She is one of my favorite artists of all time. I'm glad now though, because I have the entire summer to digest this thoroughly wonderful music. I especially like 2-1 and Tidal.

The other album is by Bruno Coulais, the soundtrack to the Secret of Kells, a movie I went and saw on Wednesday. It was fantastic. It was animated, and really a piece of art. I find it interesting that the last animated movie I said that about was Coraline and Bruno Coulais did the soundtrack to that as well. Trending anyone? Anyway, it's delightful, though maybe one of those things you want to put on when embarking on a long project, because the album should really stand together as one big song. It's wonderful stuff.

Though I miss school, I feel excited. I have an abundance of projects suddenly, that I want to finish, and outings that I have planned. It's going to be a good summer, I think.

Indulgent

I like getting new things. Who doesn't? But I especially like it when all of my purchases fit together and reassure me of my aesthetic. The book pictured is "One Hundred Years of Solitude" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, as prescribed by my English Teacher for the honors assignment. I like it. It's heady stuff, and it's rather frustrating because no one ends up happy, ever, but it's well written. It's highly descriptive.

This is my school's last week of school, and I haven't quite come to terms with that yet. I mean, I'll still be busy, what with work and my impending cello recital, but it going to be weird not seeing everyone everyday. And who knows when I'll see any of the seniors? It's kind of sad, even though I'm very happy for them.

At least it hasn't been sunny. I hate the sun. It's so showy and exasperating. No one ever gives the rain any credit for being beautiful and making everything green. Ridiculous.

In the Rain

Her shoes are drenched and useless. She feels that they have filled with water and everytime she steps, the miniature flood rises up against her socks and soaks them further. Everyone is rushing, trying to escape the sudden, unexpected downpour, but she moves slowly, glad that she is numb. She hears slightly hysterical and giddy shrieking, as people recognize one another and laugh at the ridiculousness of the weather.

Every plant is so green, as though the rain somehow accentuates the natural. It's a little discombobulating, contrasted as it is, with the heavy grey sidewalks and buildings. She counts the divisions in the sidewalk, thinking that is she can fill her mind with numbers, bottomless numbers, she won't have to be alone with her thoughts for longer than neccesary. She is selfish.

As she comes to a crosswalk, she takes her time looking both ways, leery of cars that can't see her, dressed as she is in hues of charcoal and slate. There is a pamphlet plastered to the road, advertising some show or another, but she passes it before she can fully read it. A car crosses after her and seals it further to the asphalt with its tires. She has stopped counting and as her mind wanders toward something that she'd rather not contemplate. She starts again.

It seems so appropriate, this rain. Unabashed and unfaltering. Adamant and melancholy. She wonders when it might end. She expects that she'll have damp clothing to remember it by for hours.

She trudges on forward, a hapless monster in the bludgeoning wet.